Amber Foliage

And you find me one autumn day
hiding under amber foliage,
lying beside brushwood,
with a grin in full blossom
decorating my simple face.

My fingers dig the soil
and root me to the Earth.
My hair turns to moss,
my clothes become bark,
and I will sleep forever.

In my dreams I have walked with
winged boots and swum
in silver oceans; I have sung with the
wind. Ichor ran through me.

I open my eyes a final time—
a tear quivers loose—and take in your image.
Carve your name into my bark,
and let dimples
bloom on your cheeks.

And when you leave me
you will forget me through
nepenthe or time.

I will be waiting here
beneath this amber coverlet.
Waiting and dreaming
until you rest beside me and
your roots clasp mine.

Before the Morning Star

NB: While looking through some old stories I wrote I found this dark tale of Brisbane. It was written for the One Book Many Brisbanes competition a couple of years back. I haven’t edited it since then (I may do that later). Anyway, here it is.

————————————————————————————————–

Nothing has been the same since the city hall was destroyed. I’m not talking about the death and the Fear; the sun just didn’t shine as brightly. Queensland is truly dying.

I’m Jeremy Shaftesbury and I have decided to die very soon. In a few hours I will take a razor blade and run it down my veins. I will be, as far as I know, the first person to intentionally do so in 14 years in Queensland.

But I won’t do it here. My blood will run onto the earth of the Grey Gardens. I ask that you read my story. So few stories are told today and I write this not to frighten you or to clear my conscience or to offer meaning for my life. I write this because I no longer want to live in Fear. Fear has taken everything from me and it is the only thing that has kept me alive all these years. This Fear is so intense that it feels like it walks beside us on the street, sits with to us on the bus, lies next to us at night. So today, my last day, August 15th, 2026, I gather all my strength and say goodbye. Heather waits for me.

***

My mind is so muddled that I don’t know where to begin. I want to tell you about my life, about Heather. But you also need to know the story kept from you by Martha White, Jack Moreton and Esther Gonzales; the story Norma Whittaker wanted to tell.

I don’t know much about the other four survivors. I know Martha was a dentist. Esther was a shop owner. Jack was a university student from Cairns on his first road trip to Sydney with his best friends. Norma was something of a mystery; all I know is that she was a painter.

And I? What was I exactly? If you had asked before this all happened I would have told you I was a photographer with a hint of arrogance. Truth is I was a struggling photographer. I took pictures at birthday parties and graduations, the occasional wedding and even a funeral back in 2006. Despite the struggle, I loved my job.

When I was thirteen I found this saying in a diary: “I would rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.” And it stuck with me. I wanted to take photographs and no one could dissuade me. I assumed I was gifted, I assumed everyone loved photographs. “To assume is to make an ass out of u and me”. That was also one of my favourite sayings. Who knew both sayings would bite me on the ass?

Oh God, there’s so much to tell.

Last Thought (pt 1)

The barrel of pushes against his temple, a drop of sweat follows the circular path then continues on its way. The man—a fifty-three year-old forgotten politician named Harold Stanley—has trouble kneeling and each sentence coming out of his mouth is followed by a short gasp.

“Don’t kill me,” he says once again but offers no acceptable reason. “My daughter’s just had a baby,” he continues. “I haven’t gone to see them yet. Please.”

His eyes waver as the tears escape onto his wrinkled skin, mixing with the sweat coming from his forehead, some droplets travel along a fold in his cheek.

“I have money. How much do you want? Shit, you can have it all.”

The offer has been made countless times, rarely accepted and almost never kept.

“You don’t look like a bad man. Don’t do this. Just walk away and I’ll forget your face, no one will ever know. I’ll even take care of whoever sent you so there’ll be no trouble for you. Please.”

The man gives a little relieved chuckle as the barrel comes off his head.

“Thank you,” he says. “Thank you. I swear I’ll give you all my money. But tell me, who sent you?” He places a hand on the ground, takes a deep breath and tries to raise himself.

A sharp buzz cuts through the silence and the man screams. He falls to the floor and rolls onto his back, groaning with every movement. He grabs his hand and shakes at the sight of the stigmata wound made by the bullet. The drops of blood drip down and stain his tailored business suit.

The Horror, the horror

I aided this nightmarish countdown by contributing the Boohbah video (don’t hate me for it). Nothing can top number one though. Nothing.  You’ll see why. Click on the link under the photo to see Michael Swaim and very creepy stuff.

It makes you wonder if the people who made the shows seen in this video are grossly misguided as to what children like to watch, or they had a traumatic childhood experience that has scarred them for eternity and now feel the need to take vengeance on future generations.Whatever their reason, children and the adults who watch this will never be the same for it.

And remember, DON’T PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH! Not even if you trust–and perhaps enjoy the company of– the big, black cock. (Watch the video).

His head is just a mask on a stick.

And to further prove people are in fact inherently evil there’s this.

This is aimed at children...

The 6 Creepiest Videos Aimed at Children — powered by Cracked.com

~~~

Chapter 6: Two Can Keep A Secret If One Of Them Is Dead

After a month of keeping Shane a secret, Madison is finally going to introduce him to us tonight in the traditional way: a dinner. She hasn’t told me much about him but she says she’s in love. Although, I can’t help thinking that is only because he’s her first boyfriend. I’ve seen photos of him on her mobile—she built up the courage to put him on her wallpaper—and he looks nice enough. He has a plain face, like someone you see and forget about a minute later. I always thought she end up with someone better looking. But she likes him and that’s the main thing, I guess.

Mum has decided to make a lasagne and salad for the occasion. It’s her specialty but she only makes it when she thinks the evening deserves it. Shane will be here in soon. Madison has put herself in charge of the salad. Every few minutes, she looks up at the clock. Dad’s in his room reading the newspaper, I can hear him turn the pages.

That’s how our special evenings go. Mum likes to take care of as much as possible, probably doesn’t trust we’ll do it right, and Madison gets any role that’s less important but requires more skills than I have. Dad sometimes helps too but this is his time to relax so he goes to his room and reads.

Great Music: Movie Soundtracks

A movie’s soundtrack can have an impact on how it is perceived. It can enhance the atmosphere of the movie whether it be romance, action, suspense or whatever. It can work the opposite way too. Adam, for example, is a nice film but the use of sentimental music obviously tries to create a strong emotional reaction. Then sometimes you watch a great movie and love it that much more because of its soundtrack. Here are some of my top pairing for great movie/music.

Garden State

~ Large’s Ark

The Film:

Written, directed and starring Scrubs‘ Zach Braff, Garden State follows the television semi-famous actor Andrew Largeman (Braff) and his return to his home and estranged family for his mother’s funeral. Andrew goes through life in a lithium-induced state as a result of his psychiatrist father, Gideon Largeman (Ian Holme), who blames Andrew for putting his mother in a wheelchair when he was a child. Soon after his arrival, Andrew meets Sam (Natalie Portman) and the two strike up an unusual friendship. Sam is a happy, quirky, emotional and compulsive liar who counterbalances Andrew’s somewhat monotonous self. Taking inspiration from her, Andrew decides to give up taking his medicine (i.e. lithium). Along the way he reconnects with old friends and acquaintances. One such friend, gravedigger Mark (Peter Sarsgaard), then takes Andrew and Sam along on a journey to find an elusive object of great interest to Andrew. It’s a great story with excellent characters and actors.

The Soundtrack

Zac Braff wrote the majority of the movie while still in college. What’s interesting in this movie is that he also wrote the music into script. When he sent the script to people he also sent a CD containing the songs that would be in the movie in the order that they appeared. This careful planning is evident in the way the music flows well into the narrative. It includes songs by The Shins, Zero 7, Coldplay, Nick Drake and Frou Frou amongst others.

*Spoiler* And here’s the final scene, which is also a great use of music to aid the narrative.

~~~

More Testicular Fortitude, Boys!

The first time I joined the school choir was with my friend in primary and only to get out of class for one hour. We couldn’t read music so we just sang the lyrics as best we could in our boyish tone-deaf vocals, softly so no one would hear us. The second time was when I went to an all boys’ high school. I was persuaded by a friend to join the “vocal ensemble.” The elegance of the group’s title drew me in. I was placed in the baritone section, which, I was told, picked up “the left over notes the other sections won’t sing.” I must confess I am not a singer. Singing in tune is almost impossible for me, though I do enjoy singing when I’m alone. As time went by, and after a new teacher came, I was moved to the bass section, “the foundation of a choir.” With a new purpose in the ensemble, I became more at ease and sang more confidently but still softer than the rest. Then, during a practice of I Shall Not Walk Alone by The Blind Boys of Alabama, the teacher pointed out our major flaw.

More fortitude!

“Come on, stronger. More testicular fortitude, boys.” She cupped a hand in the air as she said it.

We all stopped and laughed at the fact our female teacher had said “testicular”; boys find that sort of thing funny. But she had a point. We were a room full of young men and yet we lacked strength in our vocals. As part of the ensemble’s “foundation” I felt responsible. During my time as a listener and only partial participant in the choir, despite my limited music knowledge, I knew that more testicular fortitude was not enough for us. We needed to feel the music.

Chapter 5: It Seems I Saw You In Some Teenage Wet Dream

The self-proclaimed hardcore jocks must be desperate to get in the water. I watch them for a moment as they take turns trying to pry the pool gates open. The sun is especially hot today and everyone looks sticky with sweat. I turn to the pool and watch the water reflect sunlight off its surface in rhythmic motions. We shouldn’t disturb it; I don’t care how hot it is. But most of these guys only care about themselves and the more they struggle with the gates, the sweatier and more desperate they become.

I hope Mr Richter has changed his mind and decided a normal PE lesson is in order. I’d rather play touch football than go swimming. But he promised he’d give us some free swimming time on the last week of term. And everyone already has their swimming gear with them, packed in plastic shopping bags. So no matter how hard I wish, we’re going swimming. We’re all going to have to get changed in the same room. And I really don’t need to see these guys naked.

Seven great male vocalists

Ah, vocalists. I love them, especially when they genuinely believe in their music. Much like my Seven Great Female Vocalist, this list is all about vocalists who I think are fantastic and who deserve more recognition. This time it’s the men. Some are already established musicians but could do with a little more acknowledgement. Click on their name for more information.

7. AaRON

Full name: ‘Artificial Animals Riding On Neverland’ i.e. Simon Buret and Olivier Coursier
Origins: France
Album/s: Artificial Animals Riding On Neverland (2007)

Okay, so I’m cheating a little bit here. AaRON is a French duet. However, Simon and Olivier have their own roles as vocalist and composer respectively (of course they do more than just that). They are my newest discovery and I’ve become obsessed with them so I couldn’t really go past them. Therefore, to make up for the fact that it’s not a solo artist I have placed them at number 7. There isn’t a great deal written about them on the internet (not that I could find anyway), which may be due to their origins. Their music contains a mixture of English and French. I discovered them when I did a YouTube search for Billie Holiday’s Strange Fruit (one of my favourite songs) and found that they sang a cover version. I was transfixed by Simon Buret’s vocals, which are raspy and powerful. He sings as though he’s trying to hold back but in doing so he manages to generate a lot more impact. Olivier Coursier accompanies Simon on the piano and creates very atmospheric music. Then I listened to Tunnel d’Or and U-Turn (Lilli), in French and English respectively. The sound the pair makes has to be one of the most haunting and beautiful that I have heard. You don’t have to know French to appreciate the music, though it wouldn’t hurt. Had they been brothers they would be in my Sibling Collaborations article. This is a fantastic duo that deserve recognition.

~~~

6. Damien Rice

Full name: Damien Rice
Origins: Celbridge, Ireland
Album/s: O (2002); 9 (2006); Live at Fingerprints Warts & All (2007); Live from the Union Chapel (2007); B-Sides (EP, 2004)

Irish singer-songwriter Damien Rice is known for his lyrical prowess and intensity. Not only that, he can play the violin, cello, guitar, piano and drums. He belonged to a group called ‘Juniper‘ in the early 90s. But after some discontentment with the band’s direction, Damien decided to pursue a solo career. He has a gentle voice that is so expressive and soothing. His songs aren’t made to be played loudly but at times it is necessary to understand what he sings about. However, this is part of his charm; the soft-spoken vocals don’t necessarily need to be understood in order to be felt. The emotions come through consistently. In O, he collaborates with Lisa Hannigan, a professional partnership that ended in 2007. Both vocalists create a great moody atmosphere, as can be seen in Volcano. Another single,Cold Water, has been used in several movies including the wonderful film The Girl in the Cafe, which is available on YouTube in different parts, see part 1 here. I found Damien Rice while browsing ‘Rocking Horse‘. His album looked like something I’d enjoy. But I didn’t actually get the album until a friend of mine played Cannonball and I just thought he was great. Definitely a vocalist worth having a listen to.

~~~

Tallulah

My daddy sold my sister Lalisa to a man in a suit some four years back. She was two weeks shy of her sweet sixteen. We needed the money and my sister wasn’t pulling her weight so what was daddy to do? I see her from time to time in town wearing some upmarket dress always with a round woman on her side. Of course, she plays dumb when we come to the same place and makes like I’m not standing there. You can’t blame her. I even envy her sometimes when Chuck ignores me and lies at the foot of her old bed and whines. I feed him, wash him and run around with him but it’s her he misses. I miss her too.

Mamma gave me all the clothes Lalisa left behind. They were mostly big on me so until I get like her I play with them. I carry with me some of her stuff like a shirt when I go wandering. Sometimes I run as fast as my legs want me to, holding her shirt up so it’s filled with air and then I let it go. I watch as the shirt flies for a bit and then glides to the ground. Other times I go down to the creek and swim with her only plaid skirt held around my waist with rope. The skirt’s red, brown, white and a little orange. When I come out of the water I spin and fling the water in circles. If I fall I just go back in the water and clean the skirt. I wear it home so it dries.